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   I have this belief that everyone should like me, and everyone would want to be my friend, like facebook for example...
But I've found souls that don't want to be friends on facebook... Or groups that I once identified myself with, that I routinely don't get invited to their gatherings... and sometimes I have a hard time being ok with that... Idealistically, I can reason that I should be ok with not being friends with everyone and I should honor their excluding decisions... and honestly, my social circle is so large, I can't identify with one single group that gets together regularly, besides groups with obligations, or that my wonderful Husband has set up.  I'm not intentionalizing my friends...?  Do I really need to make a list of friends to intentionalize?  I'm not good at being a friend... really... I'm not consistent.  Sometimes I wonder off and fall into blackholes for months at a time, consumed with new interests.  Sometimes I forget what's important.   How to I find a good circle of friends and make a healthy, emotionally safe place there? Sometimes I don't know where I belong, and it's hard not to focus on those I've lost along the path.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
jenmarie
Sep. 18th, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
*hug*

I can relate to this post. I don't have any thoughts on it, because I don't know how to deal with it either, even after years of being an erratic friend and trying to have spoons in so many pots that none of them are getting stirred often enough.

But I like you, and I like being your friend. And even though our eccentric orbits only cross paths sometimes, talking with you is always easy and full of interesting energy. :)
efffie
Sep. 18th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks,
I'm glad I'm not the only one with this experience... What to do about it... I do like knowing so much of what is going on... and being part of many groups allows that...
hmmmm... Hope to talk to you soon.
:) Effie
reinaness
Sep. 18th, 2010 03:08 pm (UTC)
you have been a good friend because when you are present you are emotionally available and sweet and honest. that is hard to do with ton of people casually. so maybe pick some people that you get the most out of and just decide to be around them more. you don't need to be accepted by any "groups" to do this. there are many individuals that love you alot!
efffie
Sep. 18th, 2010 10:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks,
you've created a lot of intentionality in your life, and brought many people closer in your circle... I guess with groups, it seems like it would be easier, because you can connect with more people with less calender organization on each one... Maybe we'll start doing the open house type thing and see who shows up... *hugs*
dirtwitch
Sep. 18th, 2010 11:56 pm (UTC)
You took the words right outta my mouth...

And speaking to that, Deanna will be here in Oct, and please! Come to our combined B-day and house warming party! It will be the night of Town hall..

Love you.
efffie
Dec. 1st, 2010 10:55 am (UTC)
I'll never let go of you. *hugs*
slobberpuppy
Sep. 19th, 2010 01:57 pm (UTC)
Yes, it happens. Friends who were close everyday presences have faded to a couple-of-times-a -year visitors... Time does that. Circumstances change. Can't say I don't miss those that were once more readily present in my life, but I surf it as best I can knowing that we are all doing the best we can with the time and energy that we have.
efffie
Dec. 1st, 2010 10:53 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
shannenigans
Sep. 19th, 2010 10:58 pm (UTC)
I have begun posts that are almost exactly like this one many times. It is just hard to not feel slighted when I am not invited to something, even if I realize I am reaping what I (fail to) sow.
efffie
Dec. 1st, 2010 10:57 am (UTC)
*hugs* thanks
jfrands
Sep. 20th, 2010 04:31 am (UTC)
I feel this too.
It is a hazard of being a person who just loves so many people so very much. Sometimes you feel spread a little thin, or you are losing connections you once had, but it can't be helped. You are only one person, and can only hope that people know that you love them, and know that they love you too.
efffie
Dec. 1st, 2010 10:50 am (UTC)
Re: I feel this too.
Thank you, my Love.
You are right. Thank you for reminding me.
Much Love to you. :)
sensedatum
Sep. 27th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
"I'm not consistent" - this I understand. You do not have to be consistent with me. Just sayin'
efffie
Dec. 1st, 2010 10:45 am (UTC)
Thanks Sweetie. You are wonderful. :)
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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