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September 18th, 2010

   I have this belief that everyone should like me, and everyone would want to be my friend, like facebook for example...
But I've found souls that don't want to be friends on facebook... Or groups that I once identified myself with, that I routinely don't get invited to their gatherings... and sometimes I have a hard time being ok with that... Idealistically, I can reason that I should be ok with not being friends with everyone and I should honor their excluding decisions... and honestly, my social circle is so large, I can't identify with one single group that gets together regularly, besides groups with obligations, or that my wonderful Husband has set up.  I'm not intentionalizing my friends...?  Do I really need to make a list of friends to intentionalize?  I'm not good at being a friend... really... I'm not consistent.  Sometimes I wonder off and fall into blackholes for months at a time, consumed with new interests.  Sometimes I forget what's important.   How to I find a good circle of friends and make a healthy, emotionally safe place there? Sometimes I don't know where I belong, and it's hard not to focus on those I've lost along the path.

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