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Out of Touch

I haven't been giving enough time to LJ.
It got overwhelming to keep up with.
But it's the only way to keep in touch with some friends, so
a compromise must be found.
I miss y'all.
I'm finding that nesting up at home with my Sweetheart has taken some of the extrovert out of me, and
I've lost some of the closeness in my friendships.
At Decompression, I wasn't going out and making intimacy connections with people, because
I've got such a powerful and wonderful connection in such close proximity.
So, the solution?  hobgadling and I love to cook, and will start having little dinner parties.
Also, I'll start working with filters to reduce the overwhelming-ness.
Exclusivity is something that I have a problem with, but the truth is, my monkey sphere is too large.
How do you handle the size of your monkey sphere?


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 2nd, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
It was great getting time with you while in Texas - hopefully we can do more of that the next time I am down that way.

Monkey spheres - I don't actually use filters on personal friends, but I *do* skim when I don't have the time. That way, I'm not excluding anyone that I would like to keep up with - I can still see if they've posted and catch-up on their musings at a later time.

It can be overwhelming to keep up, but even friends I don't see on a regular basis are in my life because they contribute to it, even if non-directly. Therefore, I prefer to keep everyone on a level playing field rather than filter anyone out - I'd miss having the contact even if it is only in electrons due to distance.

Edited at 2008-07-02 07:10 pm (UTC)
Jul. 2nd, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)
I loved hanging with you also. Justin and I reminisce about our Ocean Adventure regularly. I hope someday, you and your Sweetheart can live in Austin. That would be great. I'll find some balance of skimming and filtering... Oh, what a horrible problem to have, too many friends... *giggle*
My life must be good, if my problem is too much abundance. :)
Jul. 3rd, 2008 09:38 pm (UTC)
Heh... That time we were lost a sea for weeks and weeks! Wow, I can't believe what good survivors we all are... We really do deserve a medal or sumthin'.

There are definitely plans to make a home in Austin at some point - we figure we'd like to do half our year in Texas and half in Canada. We're working towards that in a slow and steady fashion, and really, that's the best way to win the race, so onwards we go.

I love that I have a home and family with y'all... Like you, I too suffer from great abundance - we must be doing something right. ;-)
Jul. 2nd, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
i hear you!
I've been thinking about this a lot recently since I'm starting to feel like I know tons of people but that number is taking away from being able to develop deeper, closer friendships. Thanks for teaching me what Dunbar's number is since it really makes sense!

I handle the size of the sphere by figuring out who are my closest friends and taking more time to spend with them and initiating activities with them. I also handle it by realizing that I don't have to read everyone's blogs and LJs, and just subscribing and reading through my RSS reader the ones that I want to follow more closely.

I love the dinner party idea! I'm finding that smaller, more intimate gatherings make it much easier to connect than the raging parties.

Jul. 2nd, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
Re: i hear you!
Yeah, there is more to life than raging parties, although they are fun also.
I think I will put more effort into keeping close the friends that mean the most to me. I don't have the best history at being able to do that.
Thanks for your reply. It's good not to know I'm not alone.
Jul. 2nd, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
"How do you handle the size of your monkey sphere?"

Big time.
And then, even with that, I skim many many entries. Especially if they aren't personal.
Jul. 2nd, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Ohhh, if there was a way to just read the personal, important posts.
I'm getting more comfortable with the filters idea. That will be ok.
I'm really looking forward to hanging with y'all on Friday. It's going to be tons of fun :)
Jul. 3rd, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
We'll be here! :D
Jul. 5th, 2008 01:53 am (UTC)
Filters. Prioritizing. Some folks, I keep as current as possible with. Others, not so much. I usually skim "meme" posts or leave them unread as soon as I realize just what they are if I'm way behind.

I just now got to reading this post, which will tell you something about my prioritization.

Oh, and I only comment where it's really important to me, saves time to not type any crap. :)

(And I've fallen behind with pretty much all non-LJ blogs right now.)
Jul. 7th, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)

But filters, RSS, and skimming go a long way . . .
Jul. 8th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
I don't handle it, not very well at least, especially when I have a lot going on, like recently. :\

I've been meaning to chat with you about party-ness, but moving and such just overwhelmed my time and now it's getting down to the wire. ack!

I was thinking maybe of just having it at our new pad (which is not nearly as groovy as your place, but will work just fine), unless you still want to do it at yours.

I don't have phone contact for ya, but mine is two-won-for-nein-phive-too-seven-ate-seven-nein.

Would love to hang out with you soon anyways. :D
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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